


Thoughts

by allin_ev_itable



Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: How Do I Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 05:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15623682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allin_ev_itable/pseuds/allin_ev_itable
Summary: Jimmy doesn't know why his thoughts seem to never listen to him.





	Thoughts

 Jimmy isn't entirely sure when he started thinking things like that, but it slowly grew more frequently as time passed by. They were mostly innocent thoughts, like the rare occasions when Nick laughed and “ _My god, that's the best sound I've ever heard_ ”, or when he'd gently tap on the Saxophone player's shoulder and ask him in a hushed voice what measure they were on during rehearsals and “ _He can be so quiet when he wants to be. I want to see that more_ ”.

 There were other moments when his thoughts were far less innocent, like certain times during Nick's solos when Jimmy wondered if his mouth was skilled in _other_ things. Typically after those thoughts Davy had to knock him back into reality by gently smacking him in the arm with his bow, sending him a knowing look that made Jimmy roll his eyes but reflect on his thoughts that had been plaguing his mind as of late.

 He wondered if his newfound sparks of attraction to Nick were genuine, or simply just misdirected need for Aaron. Jimmy decided to choose the latter, not wanting to accept the fact that he may be starting to fall for his band member. He didn't want to even think about falling in love. It'd been two years, but he still wasn't ready. Perhaps that was unhealthy, but Jimmy Campbell wasn't exactly the poster child for healthy coping mechanisms. He seeked comfort in his playing and crying into his pillow in the early hours of the morning after particularly violent nightmares.

 He couldn't be in love again. He didn't want it.

 Still, even if he didn't want love, there was no harm in a little experiment, right?

 It started off innocent enough. Whenever Jimmy would walk past the trumpet player during rehearsals, he'd gently set a hand on his back for a second longer than probably necessary to try and gauge his reaction. He'd make slightly suggestive comments when they spoke, not enough to be too obvious but enough to get his point across.

 Eventually, he realized Nick had picked up on his little game and had begun to play as well. The only problem was that Nick not only knew how to play the game, but he could play it far better than Jimmy ever imagined. When the sax player would rest his hand on his back, Nick would turn to face him and in return place his hand on the other's waist. When Jimmy made suggestive comments, Nick would always say something along the lines of “don't tempt me", which never failed to turn Jimmy's face a bright shade of red.

 After about two months of this, Nick had pulled Jimmy aside and asked him to hang back after rehearsals because he needed to speak with him after the guys all left. That had struck fear and endless nerves through the man. Sure, shameless not-exactly-flirting had been fun, but now Nick wanted to _talk_. What if it was all just some kind of a sick joke? Teasing the queer guy just for a laugh?

 He knew Nick wasn't like that, but he couldn't help but think it. There were a lot of things he didn't know about the man. In return, there were a lot of things Nick didn't know about _him_. The two were both experts in staying safe behind the cracking walls in which their emotional states and thoughts were maintained. Aside from being musicians, it had been their newest occupation once they'd returned to civilian life.

 Even worse, what if Nick actually wanted to talk about their antics? Jimmy didn't want a full-fledged discussion about how he didn't want anything serious and _yeah you may be insanely attractive and your smile makes me feel sick but in a good way and I constantly think about kissing your stupid smirks off your face but that doesn't mean that-_

 Oh.

  _Oh_.

  **_Oh shit_ **.

 In his sudden realization in the midst of going over _You Deserve It_ for the billionth time in the past hour, Jimmy's saxophone let out a sharp squeak, and everyone stopped in their playing to look over at him in shock. He never really messed up. All of his playing was precise and focused, exactly like him. The only time his instrument squeaked was the few moments after using a new reed and when an old one had begun to chip and needed to be replaced. But this reed was perfect, and Jimmy had made such a shrill noise that the rest of the band was convinced all of Cleveland had heard it.

 As the man looked over at the stunned band members, two stuck out in particular. Julia, who was his best friend so he clearly understood her concern, and Nick, who looked more genuinely worried than Jimmy had ever seen him.

 “What? I can't make mistakes?” Jimmy sassed, crossing his arms to keep his confidence as rehearsal returned to normal.

 As Julia and Donny finally left the room at the end of the day, Nick shut the door behind them, and Jimmy’s heart returned to it's quickened pace as he heard the soft click of the lock. “So, you wanna tell me what that was all about?” The trumpet player asked, keeping his tone casual yet softer than usual.

 Jimmy continued to take his saxophone apart, glad his clarinet was already packed up and resting by the door. He tried to think of a good lie, one that Nick would actually believe. Jimmy was a terrible liar and Nick was great at spotting his bullshit from a mile away, making it practically impossible to hide anything from the man. “I zoned out while I was playing. Came back into focus and forgot what I was doing.”

 Nick responded with an unconvinced hum, taking a step closer to him, then another. Jimmy's thoughts began to swirl around his mind the closer the man came near him. He needed to tell Nick his flirting was purely to amuse himself, and he wasn't interested in anything else, no matter what his mind really wanted. He needed to convince himself that what he felt towards Nick wasn't the closest thing he felt to love since before he lost Aaron. He needed-

 He needed to kiss Nick back, because in the time he was worrying, the man had walked over and pressed his lips against the other’s.

 After his thoughts had cleared when he registered what was happening, Jimmy finally started kissing back, and _holy shit_ he definitely had a higher appreciation for brass players and their lips. Nick's we're soft yet just a little chapped, and he kissed him in a lovely mix of hesitation and confidence that made Jimmy just _melt_.

 They didn't bother to pull away for very long before reconnecting their lips, ready to save formalities and explanations for later. It took a split second for Jimmy to remember he needed to slow the hell down. _Romance now, other activities (maybe) later. Keep it in your pants, Campbell._

He honestly didn't blame himself, not after not having sex for seven months. He sort of refused to even try anymore after his and Davy's six, seven, eight night stand came to an end when they both agreed they were in no place for a relationship.

 But as he let Nick pull him close, he couldn't believe how far he'd come since then.

 They eventually did stop kissing long enough to take a breather, looking at each other and slowly sharing similar terrified looks. Jimmy pulled out of Nick's hold on him to start pacing, the range of thoughts quickly returning. _I can't do this again. I can't meet someone new because I'll lose them. I can't lose another person like I lost him. I won't. I'll die alone before that. Just like he did, because I wasn't there for him and what if I'm not there again-_

Nick stood in front of Jimmy's Pacing Zone, gently placing his hands on his shoulders. “Jimmy! For God's sake, stop pacing before you wear a hole in the floor!” That caused the taller man to stop, looking at Nick's face for any sign or irritation or frustration, but finding nothing but nerves and complicated facial expressions he couldn't quite understand.

 “I get you're scared. This is fucking terrifying. I didn't think I'd ever do this with…” Nick trailed off, gesturing vaguely betweens the two of them. Jimmy got it. He always did. “But that's doesn't mean I'm gonna flip the fuck out because of it.”

 Jimmy took a deep breath and began rubbing his temples, feeling an oncoming stress headache. “You don't get it. I don't want this, Nick. I really don't. I’m so _fucking terrified_ of love now. I can't even get through Valentine's Day without nearly having an aneurysm. I just...I can't…” he whispered, looking down to hide how he was so damn close to tears.

  Nick ever so slowly took Jimmy's hand in his own, lacing their fingers before using his free hand to listen the sax player’s chin. “...I'm willing to take it one day at a time.” His smile brought back the warmth in Jimmy's chest, hugging the man before pressing a quick, gentle kiss to his cheek that reminded Jimmy of home.

 So they took it one day at a time. Some days were harder than others, filled with screaming matches or the silent treatment, and some days were like the best days in the movies, but mixed together, it made for one hell of an interesting way to live. Jimmy's hand fit in Nick's, Nick's lips felt right against Jimmy's, and duets between a saxophone and a trumpet at three in the morning never sounded sweeter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was part of a lil fic collaboration thing I did with the Bandstand Discord! If you want to read the other ones, they're in the Bandstand tag (tis unfortunately a small tag)
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> STALK ME CORNER
> 
> Instagram: @allin_ev_itable  
> Tumblr: @allin-ev-itable  
> Twitter: @allin_ev_itable


End file.
